Jealousy is one of the scourges of living together and people often confuse jealousy with proof of love. However, jealousy is one of the main problems of relations today. This myth of "jealous love" can cause major problems when combined with feelings of distrust, insecurity and dependence. Although the result is often similar (fear or belief that your partner is attracted to another person), the causes can be different.
The possessive jealous
The first case occurs with people who believe their partner is their property. "She’s mine" is the typical idea behind it. The difficulty of this type of jealousy is based on the very deep beliefs of the person, which probably will not believe he is thinking irrationally. It is essential to understand that people are, above all, free and not property of others, and that has nothing to do with what clothes she’s wearing, nor with the friends she has.
The co-dependent jealous
In relation to the concept of ownership, dependence is also a key factor in jealousy. Feeling that you’d die without her and that you need her to keep your life going are major traits of this type of jealousy.
To get rid of this type of dependence, it is important that you answer the following question: Why do you think you can’t live without her? Often it comes from deriving our entire existence of another partner, putting excessive pressure on the relationship. Remember your life before you met your partner, remember you have many other things and that "necessity" is too broad of a concept.
The insecure jealous
The insecure is a person with low self-esteem that considers himself worse than his partner. Moreover, he wonders why she is with him and constantly fears that the other member will soon find another "better" person. These people are often aware of any other relationship his partner may have with someone else, either a friend or a co-worker.
The first thing to do is not to boycott the relationship showing distrust. Chances are that your partner’s reaction will be an annoyance towards you and that will increase your irrational belief. It’s also necessary to change your opinion about yourself.
There are many positive things in you that you are not able to appreciate and you must recognize those. Your partner is not stupid, and she chose you for many good a lot of reasons. Don’t think that changing partners is so easy and that love is so volatile. If she wants you, it’s because you too have something.
The distrustful jealous
The main trait of this type of jealousy is suspicion and distrust towards all people in general. The suspicious jealous bemen are all the same" or "any sign of a good relationship between two people is a sign of desire."
These type of people need to learn how to distinguish a cordial relationship from an intimate relationship. This irrational belief that two people of different sex can’t be friends must be eradicated.
As you can see, the key is to all types of jealousy is to be more flexible when thinking about the other and the relationship you have together. Trying to control your partner only adds negativity to the couple and increases jealousy to the point that the relationship is over.
If you feel identified with some kind of jealousy, do yourself and your partner a favor and look for help. I’m sure you can overcome it.
Any jealous people in the room..?