“No one understands women”, a friend told me the other day. Blame the centuries of patriarchal culture, my friend. For years and year, the male voice always sounded stronger and created this idea that women are hard to understand. But the truth is that they think the exact same thing and find men really hard to understand as well. Is the mutual incomprehension the origin of the war of the sexes?
How men understand their relationships
The origin of the misunderstanding between men and women occurs at the same moment in which they fall in love. Men use infatuation as a way to channel their sexual impulses. At first we all focus on the physical attraction and our primitive impulse for conquest takes action. During this period, we devote all of our efforts to portray ourselves as the ideal man who they can’t live without.
All the little details, the attention and the romantic gestures are explained by our desire to conquer. But once we have convinced our lady that we are the perfect man for her, we tend to change our attitude towards her, right? There’s no need to conquer anymore and, therefore, there’s less attention. Once we become a couple, the attractive and adored woman we fell in love with becomes the person we share our life with in a comfortably and sometimes less romantic way. Our search is over and we give an end to our efforts to conquer.
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How women understand their relationships
It is at this “the search is over” point when problems arise. Once the relationship is established, a woman doesn’t take well that the man that once showered her with attention at the beginning of the relationship has stopped adoring her and now sees her as a convenient partner.
It happens the other way around with women: while men put all their effort in the beginning, women are more cautious. It is true that they can be more romantic, but it costs them more time getting involved in a relationship and they usually wait until they are sure that he is the “one”. Once immersed in a relationship, they give their all and focus all their efforts on making it work.
These two different positions they adopt in romantic relationships get worst when combined with the confusion generated in recent times by changing roles. Men are confused and have no idea whether they should play the traditional role of the protector guy or should act as a best friend/companion.
Besides that, some women have grown up with the idea that prince charming is out there somewhere, waiting for them. They dedicate a lot of time looking for that guy and, tired of kissing frogs, society offers another way of living: individuality.
This topic is quite polemic and I bet some of the readers don’t agree with me. Share your opinions and let’s try to make things easier for everybody.