Love is too good and we all deserve to find someone to call ours. Meanwhile, let's remember to love and be happy with ourselves, because our first perfect match is always ourselves!
The suffering of many people is that they are very fond of someone, but they aren’t reciprocated in the same way. And when this happens, it’s almost a chronic pain, because the person not having the same feeling that is expected of her, causes us to be full of affliction, sad and cause even a certain agony.
The reasons for not being appreciated by someone can vary and range from the person doesn’t liking you to toying with your feelings. For many people, this has reached a limit where it’s no longer possible to take any more of this, of someone which doesn’t correspond to your feelings. There comes a time when the person says to herself: How to forget a love that doesn’t value me? Especially on the internet, where it’s so easy to communicate with this person.
My tip for you is to evaluate whether it's worth it to cry over this love that doesn’t give you love back or whether it’s best to leave and try your luck with someone else.
It’s worst when you’re ending a relationship with someone you love
Ending a relationship is never easy. You feel as if you have ripped off a part of you, leaving a huge void and panicking to imagine that you are alone from now on. It doesn’t matter if your relationship lasted three months or ten years, you lived important moments with the other person and leaving all this behind is a painful process. And then there’s the question: how to overcome the end of a relationship?
There are few things that outweigh the pain of ending a relationship. Especially when the end point is inevitable after a betrayal or an "I don’t love you more". Although getting used this new situation is something very hard to manage, it’s possible to face the moment with serenity and to scare away the sadness to return to a social and loving life after the trauma.
The lack of loyalty of the partner gains different dimensions in each situation. Overcoming a betrayal is very difficult, but it depends on the history and the dynamics of the relationship. It also depends on the meaning it represents for each one. In some cases, it becomes a stimulating element, without major impacts. Anyway, overcoming it implies credit and desire to invest in a relationship, seeking to understand the process and the role of each one.
I know what that feeling is because I've been there too. And I can tell you that it is possible to transform this painful stage into a wonderful phase of your life, prioritizing your evolution and personal development.
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To move on after a traumatic breakup, it’s necessary to develop goals to strengthen and to enjoy being fit for new involvement. The time for all this transformation is defined by the person himself and depends on a series of factors that don’t establish conventional measures of time. One year, one month, one day? There are no established deadlines to recover from a relationship term.
The consequences of the loss of confidence are also potentiated by the social universe we live in. There are intense demands and demands of society for all to be desirable and enviable, which means having a perfect and happy relationship. This ends up intensifying the negativity of self-esteem and expanding the suffering of those who are abandoned.
Tips to face the end
As soon as the termination of the relationship or marriage happens, be it for treason or any other reason, begin to act!
Accept your emotions
Every grieving process comprises several phases and is determined by particular factors: whether you have ended it, whether you were abandoned, whether it was by mutual agreement, how long you were together, etc. But no matter how the ending was, one thing is certain: in the coming weeks you will look like an emotional mess, without much control.
Take care of yourself
Eat well, sleep well, and exercise. Remember that suffering won’t make time pass any faster. If you neglect your physique, being ill in relation to your body will add to the fact that you’re psychologically shaken, negatively affecting your self-esteem.
Focus your energies on your work, career or hobbies. Fill in your time. This is the ideal time to start new projects or do things that you always wanted to do and that, for some reason, were left behind. Especially if it’s something that can do well to your body and your mind, like starting those yoga classes that you postponed for centuries.
Do volunteer work or services for the community in which you live. Feel useful and proud of yourself. Being occupied with these things will make you focus on the challenges of your own life, as well as help in those times when you get bored and over-thinking about the things of the past.
Listen to happy songs
Avoid melancholic songs or those that remind you of your ex-partner. Try to listen to the joyful songs that bring good feelings and make you smile. This will help you to maintain a more optimistic attitude.
Good examples are songs that bring you feelings of nostalgia for moments before the relationship even began. Maybe that song you were listening to when you had your last career success, a joyous family trip or even one you always play when you're going to do some house chores and want to cheer up to make the activities less tedious.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help
Be careful, or you may become isolated and end in a depression. If you can’t trust the people around you, look for some kind of therapy that allows you to see your situation from another point of view. You don’t have to go through this phase alone.
Remember the good things about your relationship
This advice probably seems crazy, but it's right. After a breakup, you are in a position to assess the time you spent with your former partner and find out what the two of you have learned from each other. She was part of your life, probably your family too, and you two must have shared countless moments. Not everything could have been so bad, otherwise, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
Avoid contact with your ex
Even though it seems difficult to reduce the chances of having contact with your ex, especially because of the internet, communication (which also includes social networks) will intensify things and make it more difficult to overcome this relationship.
So please stop following her on social networks. Block her in private messages. Backslidings can happen, and when there is no more love involved, both of you just wear out emotionally.
Seek emotional support from the people closest to you
Often our relationships drive us away from friends and family with whom we had a good relationship. Retrieving and strengthening these bonds can help you form a network of emotional support, so you don’t go through this period alone. Seek someone to vent your emotions.
Nothing is eternal, not even pain
As the saying goes, "there is nothing that time doesn’t heal". If "eternal love" is over, think that the pain that has resulted in the end of it will also be something fleeting. Life goes on, this is not the end. In the book of your life, it's just another chapter. Over time, it will stop hurting and will only become a memory.
If you have been with someone for a year or more, maybe three or four months will be necessary for you to feel ready to go back to dating, but the opposite is also true: the shorter the time together, the less time of mourning. Those time frames are not strict and will be different from person to person.
More important than time, though, is your state of mind. You need to be well enough to start a new relationship and have already left that grieving phase. An indication of this is your willingness to go out with friends and go back to your routine normally.
Taking some time after the end of a relationship to stay away from romance is important for you to understand everything you have learned from that person. It’s a moment of introspection, of looking inside and seeing what has changed in you with this relationship.
And remember: don’t close your heart to new experiences. The more you keep yourself standoffish, the more you may get stuck while dodging good experiences to come. Who knows what the future holds for you?
Relationship websites: your best friends!
Once you decide what you’re looking for, it’s time to start looking. But before you start, it’s good to evaluate where you’re going to look. You can look for love going out to bars, nightclubs and going out with friends, but don’t limit yourself to just that. How about creating a profile on a relationship site? Websites and relationship apps allow us to say what we’re looking for, the traits of our future partner in detail and so on. It’s much easier to find the right person this way!
Expand your horizons. Sometimes what you need is to find the next special person, and maybe that person not so far from you. As you mend yourself from your previous relationship, in your time, you allow yourself a slow and solid bond with another person. In that case, it’s possible to develop many heartfelt conversations and both of you can get to know each other well before meeting in person. This way, you can avoid casual dates like one-night stands that may not fulfill your emotional needs.
Casual dates can be part of the process of recovering from a breakup. So, first of all, be honest with yourself.
Be open to options
Now that you've started your quest, the next step is to always be open to options, that is, open to meeting new people yourself. Talk and get to know people well before you judge them. A strong new love is something to allow yourself to meet everyone who has an interest in you.
The options are countless indeed, and this can leave you lost. I know it's tempting to talk to more than one person at a time. No problem with that! Whatever works best for you! If you want to do this, be aware of the nuances of each conversation and be careful not to be confused with the different tastes and personalities you are interacting with.
My advice for that approach is to reply your future dates in different hours during the day, not at the same time.