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November 22, 2016
 

Relationships

End of trust and betrayal

As part of my resolve to talk more about myself, I decided to address a theme that hurt me and marked my life a lot. I believe many people will identify with this: betrayal. We all have been betrayed at a time in our lives, whether by friends or companions. I've been betrayed too and the scars are on me even today.
Few things are as painful in a couple’s relationship as the betrayal of one of the parties. Whether it has been discovered or revealed, it always brings out many contradictory feelings such as "the other person is a bad person", "the other person doesn’t love me", "I'm not good enough", "no one will ever love me", "where did I mess up?".

What happened to me

First, I'll tell you my story. I was only 19 years old and I started university. Never had a boyfriend, except for a very silly relationship when I was 13. At university, I fell in love with Eric. He was doing his doctorate in physics. I think I fell in love first with his intelligence and then with his physical appearance. We stayed together for three years. We were thinking of getting married. On his 25th birthday, he needed to travel to Denver to work (he did this a lot). I felt sorry for him for spending his birthday working, so I decided to throw him a surprise party. That's when it all happened. It seems that all these years he had a mistress. A woman he met before me and he could not break ties with her. It seems that every time he went to Denver, he met her. This time was no exception. I discovered everything in front of my family and friends.
It's amazing how something like that can mark us. I had to go see a psychologist and I almost didn’t finish college, because being there reminded me of him. Each step of the way was very difficult, but I succeeded.

Something difficult to overcome

Betrayal is a cowardly attitude. I say this about any betrayal, be it of spouses, boyfriends, friends or family. The betrayed person has an eternal scar. When a person betrays us, he carries with him a part of our hope in humanity. It causes a sadness that ages, bitterness, steals our innocence and, perhaps worst of all, diminishes the space in our heart for the love and fraternity that we so badly need. The proof of this is the overgrowth of fragile, emotionally needy and fearful creatures. On the other hand, the amount of cold and detached people, hurt by others and insensitive, grows a lot.

Don't give up

Sorry for this difficult topic, but there are days when I try to understand the incomprehensible and I get lost in moments of reflection. I'm counting on you to share opinions. I do this because I decided to try again. I want to love again, to open my heart again, to take my chances again. And I believe that this online dating world is a perfect place for that. I want to meet new people from all over the world and exchange experiences. Am I afraid? Of course! But I want to try. I'm still alive and I want to be happy.