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Oxente Regina
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December 28, 2018


Does he/she love me or is deceiving me?

Knowing if your relationship is decaying can be very easy if you know certain warnings that betray your partner's intentions. So, in this article I'll share some of these signs that may indicate that your partner is cheating on you.
We all know that couples’ problems are pretty much common and are not usually easy to experience. Although often, for this very reason, we try not to look at what is happening, or at what we are failing to do, what makes our relationship doesn’t work as it should.
However, when we begin to realize that something is wrong, we begin worry. Mainly because most of these problems present themselves because of the lack of communication between the couple or by lack of intimacy.
A person, when he/she has bad intentions towards you, can deceive you without remorse, making you think that you’re the only one in his/her life, when in fact he/she has several others. But it is not just infidelity that this person may be using to fool you, but many other things.
Unfortunately, some people just want to know how to deceive others, but that's nothing new! However, is this happening to you right now? Does this person who promises you the moon really loves you or is he/she just keeping you near, using you and deceiving you, just to use you and then throw you away?
To answer these questions, it’s necessary to pay attention to some signs that every person gives when he/she doesn’t really want anything with someone. Let's go to them!

The story always changes

The person explains everything from the beginning to the end and the details don’t seem to be concrete. First, he/she said that he/she was away with some friends. Then he/she said he/she was at a happy hour with some work colleagues. If the inconsistency persists, chances are great that you’re dealing with a lying person.
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Your feelings are seen as drama

Do you know when you decide to vent and put out what is bothering you and hear only that you’re "exaggerating"? Still, you compromise and, on some another occasion, try again to make the person understand what you’re feeling. He/she will soon ask if you have "PMT", will say that you love to play the victim and always makes drama of everything that happens ("How dramatic you are!").

What about sexual intercourse?

Usually they tend to decrease the frequency of sexual intercourse, although not so abruptly, but they gradually lower it. From the time you began dating to this point, he/she no longer present himself/herself as before, nor with the same intensity as he/she used to.
However, don’t freak out with that either, after all, some couples go through a phase of low libido and then later, recover it with a lot of passion and companionship.
The behavior of your partner makes you have an intuition that something is wrong. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring your instincts means that you want to be blind to the truth.
You know your partner's habits, routines, and attitudes better than anyone else, so when those things change, it's time to listen to intuition and begin to suspect everything.

He/she doesn’t go into details

Sometimes the details get really dark, or maybe there is too much detail. If your partner gets very specific and is giving a lot of information, he/she may be trying to make up for something.
People who are lying tend to say too much because they are hiding the very thing they are revealing. If the person in question is the one who gives you random details about an event or story, push it a bit. Ask some questions about the details mentioned and see if he/she stumbles on the specifics.

You're afraid to criticize him/her

Every time something starts to bother you, you try to push that feeling away as fast as you can. Even if it is affecting you daily, you, in any case, do everything to avoid having to tell the person how you feel.
When your partner does something that bothers you, you excuse him/her, for you know that as soon as you confront him/her, you two will be fighting and you don’t want arguments. Exactly by knowing that in the end it will be your fault and the focus will be on how you always exaggerate and make a drama.

He/she doesn’t include you on social networks

Someone who loves you, besides wanting to parade with you around, wants to post pictures of you two on social networks. If your partner doesn’t want to post a photo with you, if he/she has never updated the Facebook status or profile cover, if he/she has never tagged you at all or, worse, if he/she doesn’t even have you as a friend on Facebook, stop deceiving yourself and get away!
To be able to know if the person is deceiving you, just look at the simpler signs that he/she may give, it’s not very difficult. Many times, you just don’t notice these things because you’re too in love, or worse, you don’t want to see, to believe it’s possible. But it’s better to open your eyes or else you’ll suffer a lot because of this person.

The way the person blinks

A normal person blinks 10 to 15 times a minute. When telling a lie, the frequency of blinking increases. Former US President Bill Clinton blinked 120 times a minute in the statement in which he said he didn’t have an affair with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

The person feels guilty when you do something kind to him/her

For the person to feel good, he/she expects you to be the person who is making the relationship impossible.
Now when you do something nice for him/her, a gesture of love, you force the unfaithful to think about what he/she is doing.

The person doesn’t walk with you

You can be sure that every person who likes someone wants to hang out with that person. What does it mean? It means that the person takes you everywhere, to go out, to restaurants, to meet his/her friends, to meet his/her family, goes out with you always in public places, among other things.
When the person doesn’t like doing any of this, when he/she doesn’t walk with you to show you around it's because he/she is ashamed of you or doesn’t want to assume you. That means this person is only fooling you, because he/she just wants to have sex, or have someone to kiss in from time to time and have fun. If he/she wanted something more serious with you, he/she would introduce you to his/her social circle.
If you want to be more sure of how to answer the question "How can I tell if this person is deceiving me?", just pressure him/her a little so he/she can introduce you to his/her family. Just do it. Tell him/her to introduce you and see what the reaction is. Will he/she come up with an excuse not to introduce you? Will he/she be happy? Will he/she look suspicious? See how your partner will react to this and you’ll realize the truth, whether he/she is really deceiving you or whether he/she wants you to become a part of his/her life.

You must not be afraid to tell what you’re feeling

Let me tell you something: Its not normal to feel so intimidated in your own relationship!
This is not how it should work and if it’s going that way, change things now! Being with someone should intensify the peace you already feel when you’re alone. When deciding to be with someone, the only thing that must happen is to feel all that is good in your life is gaining even more strength. If it is the contrary, if all that happens is that you live on a war with your own feelings, you can be sure that you’re in a relationship that should not exist. As much as you like and want to make it work, stop! This is already wrong! Someone who doesn’t care about you, and is always putting you in the spotlight to point out your faults, should not be in your plans for the future.
If you have noticed several of these signs that I have described above, it’s possible that this person betraying or deceiving you.
At some point he/she needs to know that you’re aware of the signs he/she is displaying. For this, it’s important that you talk to him/her and expose all your yearnings and your afflictions about the relationship.
At this point, you need to be aware of how your partner will react. If he/she promptly tries to change the subject and come to you caressing and kissing, it’s possible that he is to blame. Insist on verbal communication and keep trying to get him/her to talk about it. When he/she begins, notice how well he/she justifies each point you exposed.
One possibility is that he/she is experiencing psychological problems. In that case, he/she needs help, and to realize that he/she needs help.
In the end, the evaluation will be yours. The decision must be only yours. If the decision is to end everything, here’s a short summary of tips for you to deal with this new phase of your life.

Enjoy your momentary freedom

And who said it was bad to be alone?
This is the time for you to look at yourself, set individual goals and, above all, meet new people, taking advantage of the new possibilities.
The world is full of opportunities and while you’re mourning a disappointment you may not see many good things that are accessible and that you just need to reach out and grab.

Have a vision of the future to bounce back

Another very important tip on how to get around it is to think about the future, on everything good that can happen in your life.
For example, once I went through a disappointment of love and instead of regretting, I decided that I would grow a lot in life. I went to the gym and started to work out heavy and focus on a diet. I also focused on work and personal changes.
The end result was that I achieved a much better body than I had at the time, I had several professional achievements and met even more interesting people.
Mentalize your future and you’ll achieve many extraordinary things if you start the process of change now.
Do it immediately, because tomorrow you may regret not having started today.