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Relationships

Are you being assertive with your partner?

Communication between partners is vital for maintaining a good relationship. In this post, we’ll take a step closer to acquiring the necessary tools for a good communication presenting a concept that may be unfamiliar to some of you: assertiveness.

What is means to be assertive? How can it help your relationship? 

To begin with, let’s explain what assertiveness is about.
Assertiveness is a social skill used to express our ideas, beliefs and opinions appropriately, without attacking or defending your statements.
If we think about communication as a straight line, one end would be the aggressive style, which seeks approval from other; we would find the passive style, one that seems having no opinion. At the midpoint, we would find assertiveness: the ability to show your opinion correctly and without offending anyone.
You may start to see one style or another in you or in your partner. Obviously, in the ideal world, we would be able to bring our communication style to the central point.

How to improve your assertiveness

How you can do it? Let's look at several aspects you can use to improve your assertiveness:

Learn how to criticize

Criticizing does not mean attacking or despising your partner. Learn to say what you would like from your partner, understanding your needs and at the same time showing empathy. 

Learn to take criticism

Make an effort to understand your partner’s point of view and possible complaint and reasoning any disagreement. Don’t feel bad: we have every right to make mistakes.

Learn how to make requests

You have every right to ask for help in anything you need or to make ay special requests as long as it doesn’t make any harm to your partner. We all have needs and they are all equally important.

Learn how to say "no"

We often feel guilty or selfish when refusing to do something for someone but you have the right to say no to something you don’t want to do, without the need of justifying your behavior. We can’t cover everything.

Focus on the positive things

As you are allowed to express criticism, you should express the good things about your partner as well. Don’t di it feeling you re lowering yourself by saying “thank you” from time to time.

Learn to receive positive feedbacks

Similarly, when your partner pays you a compliment, don’t take it with irony. It is very important that you recognize you partner’s gratitude.
Are you being assertive in your relationship? Share your answer with us!