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December 28, 2016

Online Dating

Will she like me?

I still can not believe it. Me and Camila agreed to meet. We’ll go out together to talk and get to know each other better. I thought we wouldn’t be able to do that, because it's the end of the year and things get more complicated at this time of the year. But we managed schedule to go out together. But after the initial animation, I began to feel insecure. After all, I always wanted to be friends with a Brazilian, but I'm not very good at these things of meeting someone for the first time, and they say that first impressions are very important.

"Man is, above all, an animal that judges." Nietzsche.

Ok. That sentence is scary. Actually, it sucks. I know it seems silly to be nervous to meet a future friend, but first impressions are incredibly relevant to building an image. We judge the book by its cover, and with people it’s no different. When we meet someone, of course we want to start on the right foot, because the first impression is the one that stays. Whether it's a party, business meeting or first date. If we don’t make a good first impression, we hardly have a second chance to do that.
That's why I decided to search the internet. After all, it is a place full of information, and we must take advantage of it. And I'll take advantage of this post and make it about tips on how to make a first good impression. That way, I’ll share with you my expectations and we all get nervous together (My personal comments will be in Bold). :)

Adjust to the other person

You need to be a mirror of the other to get closer to him/her. Therefore, adjust your posture with that of your interlocutor. If he is more discreet, so also do it. If he makes many gestures, gesture more. The same goes for the tone of voice. People recognize each other. The more you look like the other, the more you will be able to exchange information (This is a good tip, but it requires a lot of attention, which is very complicated when we are nervous).

The body speaks

Body language is superimportant to make a good first impression, because our body and our gestures pass a series of subliminal messages that the person captures, without even realizing it. So, do not sit too relaxed with your back curved or on your legs. Try to keep yourself upright, but don’t be too rigid, like a robot (It fell like a glove for me. I'm super awkward!).

Make eye contact

The body speaks for itself. The greatest power of the nonverbal communication is in the eye. The eyes reflect your inner state. Looking into the eyes shows a state of equilibrium (This is beautiful! *irony* But difficult in practice. Actually, for me, this is bullsh***).

Make the dialogue flow

The pace of the conversation is also important to make the dialogue flow well. Notice the speed that your interlocutor uses to formulate the sentences and try to follow the same rhythm. Also note if he/she is the type that likes more details or if he prefers objectivity. Lead the conversation for the listener. Avoid talking too much or not saying anything. Try to balance. Also don’t monopolize the conversation or talking nonstop all the time (Great tip for those who are nervous like me. I am one of the extremes: or I am very quiet, or I talk without stopping).
I think that’s it. I'm going to meet her tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous. But just researching this and venting with you, I feel better already. Wish me luck!