I hope you, who are alone and don’t see a way out of this situation, follow the tips I’m gonna give you. Try to improve yourself. No need to have the list with all tips checked and perfect. Do what you can and practice the other tips slowly.
Women don’t like nice men
Sorry to start already with that slap in the face, without even a proper introduction to the theme, but I needed to do that to bring you to reality! But let's elaborate what I meant by that.
You tell me, but it's good to be a nice guy, isn’t it? Who doesn’t want to be cool?
Naturally everyone sees themselves as a good person, or at least the majority of us. And in fact, society values it no matter what you do, as long as you're a good person. And that's a good, inclusive, moving and cool feeling.
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Nice guys only get screwed over. Is that it?
Well, that phrase may be an exaggeration, I'm not going to say that nice guys don’t necessarily get screwed over but unfortunately that doesn’t help at all when it comes to getting the woman you want.
In the following words I will do my best to show you some mistakes usually made when trying to conquer women and give some tips to get things right. And that will include what women look for in men and how to be self-confident to achieve that.
Society says that men have to be cool and nice, because it's interesting to turn you the best friend and the best co-worker. But being a good guy doesn’t help you in your dates with women. But or course, I'm not talking here for you to be a total moron who mistreats women, okay?
I know that there are men out there who do it and there are women who like it, but you don’t have to be one of them. You have to treat women well, they should and deserve to be treated well. But you don’t have to be dummy or do everything they want. Being nice doesn’t put food on the table or a pretty woman in your bed.
How not to be nice
Okay, but what do I do then, Diamond? Let's do a very simple exercise.
Imagine a beautiful woman who has just met you and you chat with her for a while. A quick chat, but you can tell a little bit about yourself. After this, if anyone asks her what she thinks of you, how do you think she will she describe you? Which of these options is she going to to talk about you?
- Handsome / sexy
- Stylish (trendy)
- Have a beautiful body (fitness)
- Very nice
- Difficult to describe
If she says: "Ah, he's cool." or "He's a good guy", you surely will have some hard work to do in that case. That shows you the impression you make on women.
Tired of being nice?
A good impression is one that will arouse interest in her or curiosity in knowing you more.
A guy with a different personality and enthusiasm is challenging and unpredictable. So how to do that? Here are some tips that you can get started with to stop looking nice:
- Avoid boring small conversations (also know as elevator chat);
- Do a wild makeover in your style, appearance, clothing and body language;
- Exhale security and trust;
- Have a stronger presence and be physically and mentally present;
- Master the conversation skills;
- Be stress-free / easygoing / funny / detached;
- Conduct a chat with a sexual vibe .
This way women will perceive you as a value guy and never confuse you with a "nice guy". Because being a good guy is not enough to make a woman interested in you.
Women are not attracted to the nice, standard guy. They like what is risky, different, provocative, exciting, challenging. Men who bring something new, add value, and stir emotions into them.
What else can we learn, remember, and remind what women like and want?
Usually women look for a series of attributes in a man. Some look for height, skin tone, beard, muscles, etc.
No matter how much you care to stay exactly as women want, it’s almost impossible to meet all their standards. There are also other qualities that women look for in a man who has nothing to do with biceps size or any physical appearance.
A passionate guy
If you ask a woman that recently ended a relationship, the reason for separation will probably be the lack of passion.
Women complain that men today don’t take initiative in or out of the bedroom. They expect a man with more attitude, who above all doesn’t allow the relationship to fall into the routine. So, a great idea is to set special dates, whether to chat (at a restaurant) or set up the room and have sex for a long time.
But be clear that being in love with her doesn’t only mean sexually, but emotionally as well. Be interested in the things she has an interest in doing, be it work, studies, hobbies and dreams. Show that you care about her happiness.
If your goal is to go out with a woman to enjoy her company for a long time, it’s very important that you stay faithful. If a betrayal occurs, trust is dissolved and it’s difficult for a relationship to remain without conflicts in its absence.
You probably already know, but most women want a long-term relationship, so one important point they observe when they enter in a relationship with a man is to see if he appears to be faithful.
So, prove from the beginning that you are faithfully committed.
Women love emotion, especially in a new relationship, and there is no better way than to keep this emotion alive than to be a bit reserved. But pay attention: there is a huge difference between being a little unpredictable and being indifferent.
Near the beginning of a relationship, you don’t have to tell her everything that goes on in your head. Don’t bother her with constant texts or messages if she’s not even responding. Notice if the conversation is equivalent. If you’re writing 90% or even 70% of the words, this is already characterized as a problem.
Try to keep yourself mysterious from the start. After some time with the woman, surprise her with dinners and gifts. Always think about not letting your relationship fall into a routine.
One quality that women often perceive in a man is his passion for side projects: his hobbies and interests that fill his free time. They find these practices fascinating, which makes the man even more desirable.
Women like a man that venture into other activities. They like to talk to them a little bit about them, teaching something he often doesn’t even know. For the woman, there is nothing more desirable than a man open to share his passions with her.
There are two types of generosity and both are attractive to women. The first is to be generous with possessions - gifts for charities for example. The second is to be generous over time - spending time with people who need to be heard or need a shoulder to cry on. Women like both.
Women want a man who makes them laugh, or at least show some humor in uncomfortable situations. So, the ability to play with the stress of life in a relationship is almost a must.
Unfortunately, not every man is born with the ability to make people laugh, but just being able to laugh is often enough to soften a difficult situation.
A confident man
To trust in yourself is something essential!
For you to demonstrate that you are a confident person, it’s important to be concerned about how you treat others, and how you behave in public or in private. It’s important to keep your head up, in an upright posture, even on days when you are emotionally weak.
A confident man can deal with unexpected and/or unknown situations with ease and security, not being shaken when he makes a mistake, even if others know he has committed it.
How to have more self-confidence?
There are universal techniques that allow you to increase your self-confidence. I will reveal them to you in the next few lines.
The first strategy is by self-affirming of your ability to make a positive self-belief, since once you change your thinking to be more positive, you become more confident.
One way to make these positive self-affirmations is through self-assertion.
This technique consists of using a brain mechanism that accepts something as true from the number of times you hear this repetition. It's that old story, "a lie said several times becomes true. You will actually do the same.
You will hear over and over again that you have an ability until there comes a time when your unconscious will accept it and believe it, and by that time you have become more self-confident.
Feel good about yourself
Another point that is fundamental to having more self-confidence is "being good with yourself".
It will help a lot, for example, if you are feeling good when you start talking to a woman. It will greatly increase the chances of getting something with her.
Here are some things that can make you uncomfortable during a conversation:
- Bad smell;
- Being badly dressed;
- Bad breath;
- Excessive sweating.
I'm sure you've been through a situation where you were bothered with sweat under your arm, worrying about having bad breath or not and you kind of moved away from the person you were talking to.
The truth is that if you are trying to conquer the woman. If you start moving away because of the problems mentioned above, the woman may misinterpret your body language.
Set small goals
A lot of people are frustrated by putting themselves extremely out of their present reality.
For example, you don’t consider yourself a handsome guy, but because of all the options you have in relationship websites, you conclude you already want to move to the girls that look like Victoria’s Secret models.
The big problem of this is that if you’re not 100% convinced that you can really go out with these women, so you may fail, and it’s not because the method doesn’t work, but because you don’t BELIEVE that you can go out with such beautiful women.
You see, if she sees you half-speaking, looking to the sides, not looking in her eyes when she speaks, she will interpret these actions as insecurity. She will think that you are afraid of her and that is not attractive at all.
Search for more knowledge
Another way for you to improve your self-confidence is through knowledge. If you consider yourself unprepared to perform a particular function, of course your self-confidence will be impaired.
But on the other hand, if before going on to perform a certain action you went through a training process that you dedicated yourself intensely, you will certainly be more confident.
Before you approach a woman, you can beat that fear by not knowing what she is going to do and it brings you insecurity.
But after having approached a number of women (of course, this is personal to each one of us) I’ve realized that the conversations with unknown women were nothing out of this world. On the contrary, most of the conversations brought good experiences.
Realizing that most women will act normally when talking to you increases your self-confidence.
If I were asked which one I think is the priority, I would say for you to focus on self-confidence. It’s not something you get overnight. It's something you need to practice daily. If you are stuck in a behavioral loop that prevent this, seek professional help.
A good way to practice many of the tips I mentioned is by online dating. Be honest with yourself when creating your profile, highlight your qualities and search for your best photos. If you already have a profile, update it with a good initial photo and, why not, a profile video? This nervousness prior to recording is important because it encourages you to overcome difficulties of expressing yourself. Being able to rehearse and record several times also helps a lot.
And keep practicing. You will soon find a person who will make you very happy and will be very happy by your side.