She talks to me online, but doesn't go out with me

You know the girl online, in a relationship site. She’s gorgeous! After some talk in the site, you exchange phone numbers. And since then, messages through WhatsApp only increase.

In the beginning they are just traditional jokes and normal messages. Then they advance to a a more personalized “good morning” and “good night”.

Now, you’re able to spend hours exchanging messages on the most varied subjects. Everything is going super well, except for one thing: she doesn’t accept your invitation to meet face to face, to go on a date. Why does she talk with you so much online, but won’t go out with you?

This has happened to a friend of mine. I myself saw some of the messages they exchanged. She was worth it. And he did everything right.

First, he paid attention to the girl before approaching her, by reading her profile to see what she likes and things like that. With that, he began a conversation that could only end in success. They talked for hours, first in the relationship website and then through Whatsapp and phone.

He became super anxious and happy. He really liked the girl, her chat, her physique. Everything about her pleased him. He was willing to do everything correctly to stay with this girl.

When they exchanged numbers, he let it go for about a day (to not seem too needy) and then sent a message to her about a matter of the day. She answered promptly, and since then they have not stopped exchanging messages on the most diverse subjects.

But a week after they met, my friend called her to invite her to go out. She said she needed to wake up early the next day and said that they should do it some other time. Herresponse was kind of dry.

But that didn’t discourage my friend, who continued to exchange messages with her - and often the initiative was hers!

He came to talk to me and we came to the conclusion that maybe the girl still wasn’t comfortable to take that step, to go out on a date like this, more formal, alone with him. Who knows?

So, his second attempt was a more relaxed invitation. He decided to call her to go to a bar or the movies, even proposing to take their friends. Nothing more natural.

But to our utter surprise, the girl said no, making up some excuse. And this went out for months, until the WhatsApp's own messages became scanty and the girl disappeared.

In the case of my friend, the problem was never knowing the reason why the girl didn’t want to go out with him. That made him crazy. But we know that there are several reasons for a girl to do this, not all very coherent. After all, we don’t know what's going on in their minds. Therefore, the way is to go probing slowly when this begins to happen. It's not for you to be discouraged - not all cases end up like my friend's. And if the girl is worth it, you must have patience and creativity. There may have been a lot of things in her life recently that left her afraid to risk a new relationship. Or she may have a personality very different from other women. The thing is to gradually discover how to deal with it and achieve success.

First you must improve your message seduction skills. Here are some tips.

The first part is also one of the most difficult. Many people are afraid to send the first message. It's important to remember that it doesn’t matter who starts the conversation, so don’t be concerned if starting out will make you look very needy.

Send something creative. Just a "Hi" is not enough. Tell her that you saw something and remembered her during the day, comment on a movie that you watched or send her something funny. Most of the time not even sending "Hi" needs when you do it. If she answers your message, success is nearer.

Do you want to text her all day? Well, this is probably a bad idea. She will be bored and will soon be talking to someone more interesting.

Try to vary both in message content and format. Photos and videos are great for both breaking the ice and starting a conversation or to vary it a little.

If you want, you can invest in the voice messages to talk and say funny things. Women love a man who innovates and can make them laugh at the same time.

The girl will certainly use that technique of looking at your message and taking a moment to answer, so why not play the same game with her? This way you seem busy and distant and keep her interested.

Answering right after she sends you a message makes you look needy, as if you’ve been waiting all day for her message. And even if you were, she doesn’t need to know that.

But be careful not to take too long to answer or the girl will become angry and will lose the urge to talk to you. Something between 5min and 10min is enough. If by accident you ignore any messages from her, apologize and explain that you were busy. This may even bring something for you to talk about.

A woman's answers can tell you a lot about what she thinks about you and your conversation. If she is responding enough and is excited, then everything is going very well.

Start paying attention when the responses start coming short, such as "Cool" or "Okay," even the much-feared "KKKKKKK" may mean that she's getting bored.

Use these signs to change the direction of the chat. If an image or video caused such reaction, is time to change the subject.

During your conversations with women, share photos, videos, and other files on topics that interest you. In this way, you will show what you like, like music. You can even send voice messages. The same goes for images and videos with jokes, which can make your target more relaxed as long as the jokes are not too silly or offensive.

When sharing something, try to make a connection to the conversation, without sending the file randomly. For example: when talking about music, send a clip that you like and say that you think she will love it too.

And be very careful not to send wrong files, to not create a complicated situation, depending on the document sent.

Of course, you can even send your photos "accidentally" under the pretext that you would show it to a friend and sent it to the wrong person. So, the girl will see something that you would like her to see without you looking like an exhibitionist. But this is worth more for travel pictures, for example. Don’t even think about sending "by accident" your naked or in the gym photos!

But even following these tips, why doesn’t she still want to go on a date with you?

It may be hard to accept, but if this is the case, the best thing to do is to back off and let time take care of the situation.

As she walks away, she may come looking for you. But if that doesn’t happen, move on with your life and start another story, because you have no more chances with this girl. Better to try a new experience than to keep insisting on something that won’t work out.

This happens, bro...

While she isn’t your girlfriend, don’t think she will wait the arrival of the day you ask her to start a relationship.

Since you go out with her and other girls, know that she may also be dating other guys. And if she has stopped answering to your messages, it is because you’re no longer a priority in her life.

Think carefully. Online chat is one of the safest things that exist. You talk, talk, but you don’t get totally involved. You can keep a distance. But at the same time, you have attention. This is the dream of every woman who is afraid to get involved, either because she was recently hurt, lost someone or any other romantic drama.

She will be a sweetheart as the conversations roll through messages, but at the time of meeting face to face, live, she runs away. The best way to deal with this is to make her feel safe. Show that you are a nice guy, that she can trust you, that you will do everything in her rhythm. Go slowly and patiently and you will succeed.

Yeah, man, it happens sometimes. It’s called FRIENDZONE. The girl is beautiful, intelligent, but not available. She likes to talk to you, exchange ideas and stuff, but she doesn’t want anything more than that.

The reasons for this are several. It could be that she is in a confusing relationship and didn’t tell you. And your friendship helps her to overcome this. Or maybe she's into some other guy, but she likes having friends. Anyway, the way is to accept and enjoy her friendship.

A very likely hypothesis is that she has gotten too involved with you, but the fact that you have never given a sign that you wanted something serious has made her back down so she won’t get hurt and not be disappointed.

In this case, you should take next step with great caution. If you’re not in the footsteps of having something more serious, don’t even look try something. But if you realize she's the girl you were looking for, go get her, tiger.

Think about the past few days if you didn’t do anything stupid that could hurt the girl.

Did you hit on some of her friends? Did you call her to a date and then didn’t show up? Or decided to travel with her friends and did not even invite her to come along?

First, if you did some of these things, you’re a jerk. I’m sorry for being blunt, but just get your things and leave. You don’t need to read this article. She isn’t talking to you because you’re a jerk.

To the rest of you still reading, perhaps this silence and detachment from her may be a reaction to your actions. It’s worth reflecting. Keep an eye on these signs and take the time to take a lesson from it. The only thing you can’t do is beg for the girl's attention.

If she hasn’t answered you on the first, second or third attempt, it's time to move on.

But if your heart beats for her and you feel it’s real love, then just be honest and ask her. In an honest conversation, you can solve this issue and get to enjoy this relationship that goes so well in the online world, also in the real one.