Just love isn’t enough for the success of the relationship. It’s also extremely important that the couple make a plan. You have to think about the future. In addition to talking over the internet and phone, the two of you also need to see each other in person. Physical contact is essential and should not be discarded.
Being together, sharing a movie on weekends, sleeping together every night, being able to book a dinner for two in the middle of the week. They seem like common activities for most people while dating. But there are those who can’t do it that way at the moment.
This must sound strange, but an online relationship is the dream of many people. It's worth noting that it’s not easy. In addition to the traditional differences of temperament and the search for balance between opposing positions, another ingredient enters this mix when the cupid decides to shoot at a distant heart: the distance.
Often hundreds of miles separate the two people in love, which may startle some immediately, so that they prefer to lose the one they love than face this challenge.
But after all, is online dating like regular dating?
No, online dating, especially if the person lives far from you, is not the same as a common relationship. There are some differences that need to be taken into account.
In a conventional dating, you can see your loved one with certain frequency. And while dating through the internet, this is not the reality for most couples. Some couples don’t see each other for months.
But the differences don’t stop there. Longing is great long distance relationships, couples end up having to use the technology to maintain communication (which helps a lot). Thanks to the distance, couples also usually add value to the moments they have together, since they are rare.
But let's understand that long distance relationships requires distance from truth. If you date someone who lives in another neighborhood and a 30-minute drive makes you stay with the person you love, this is not a long distance relationship, okay?
Certainly, you must have a friend or acquaintance who dates someone who lives in another city, state, or country. And you don’t understand how they maintain a relationship so many miles away.
One thing you can be sure of is: both parties believe very much in the love they feel for each other, for only such a strong feeling can be able to hold them together, even though they are far apart.
Overcoming the obstacles imposed by the geographic location is challenging, but there are those who face this and want to continue with the relationship in that conditions. There, it’s necessary to define some criteria to take into consideration when assessing if the online romance has chances to go ahead.
As frightening as it may be, being in a commitment to someone living in another city, state or even country can work. Even more so in an era of social networking and conversation apps that make it easier for everyone to connect.
One of the first things that comes to mind of those facing the odds of a long distance relationship is fear. Fear of not working things out, of how you will face the situation, of not enduring the longing, of not being able to deal with this new dynamic, etc. There are so many fears that many people simply stop at this possibility.
For you who are single, either by enjoying the freedom this gives or by having recently coming out of a relationship, consider and reflect the following tips on online relationships. If you just got out of one, you will end up identifying yourself with one point or another. In any case, they are facts and dynamics that essentially happen either in the distance or face-to-face relationships.
Are you very jealous? Be careful!
Who has never felt jealousy in life? All right, jealousy is something natural. But there are times when it gets past the point.
Very possessive people, who think that no one else can have contact with their loved one, that only they can see him/her, are already crossing the limits. For a healthy relationship, the two of you should have your freedom as well. How bad is it to go out with friends, for example?
When dating is virtual, a person should not spend 24 hours a day talking to you and doing nothing interesting with her life. Having contact with other people is of great importance. This doesn’t mean a betrayal.
If you want to have a successful long distance relationship, you should control jealousy. You must give your love freedom. Remember that one person doesn’t own the other.
Insecurity is a problem
You only venture into a relationship like this if you’re sure of your feelings and fully trust the loved one. Obviously jealousy exists and moments of insecurity are inevitable, and it happens in all relationships, including those considered "normal”.
People often find that those who have long distance relationships suffer to control their partner's every step and live in fear of being betrayed. This happens, but on an infinitely lesser scale than you think.
Is this like a prison?
Some people think that a long distance relationship needs greater control over the other. After all, how are you must make sure the person won’t fall into a trap without telling you, or that she’ll get home at a time that you think is appropriate, or that you have to make sure she’s not lying?
There are those who think that it’s necessary to control all the steps of the loved one. But this is not how things happen in practice.
Know that you won’t always be able to see your boyfriend/girlfriend at a long distance relationship. Unfortunately, that's the truth. You can’t always see your loved one because of the distance, unless you have a lot of money to travel and both have time available. It’s something you should keep in mind before you even begin a long distance relationship.
There are people who just can’t imagine themselves in this situation. But if they both live close by, there is true love in the courtship, and for some reason one of them ends up having to move, it can happen that the person sees himself in that situation.
It is necessary to think that all this will be worth it. Of course, today you may not be able to see your virtual love in person, but you can talk over the internet or phone. And eventually the day will come when you can meet.
Strive to be together
Even if you get used to the miles that separate you, being close is great, isn’t it? So work hard for it. Schedule ahead to enjoy holidays, keep an eye on plane tickets, take advantage of frequent flyer programs. The important thing is to kill the longing whenever possible!
Starting a long distance relationship is fully possible, even in the long run. But it takes effort, commitment, and love on both sides to make it work.
Make the most of the time you can see each other in person and stay together
In a relationship where the two see each other often, they often don’t give so much importance to that time together. It's just another day with the person your love (I'm not saying you don’t like to be together).
But when dating is at a distance, every minute you can spend beside your loved one becomes special. Imagine a couple, they have been for six months without seeing each other and now one is going to spend the holidays in each other’s house. Do you think they won’t make the most of their time?
I'm not talking about them isolating themselves and seeing no one else during this time, it's not that (although sometimes it's a good idea to take a couple of days off the world from time to time).
What can’t happen, for example, is each of then staying with their phones, talking to their "thousand" friends, while precious time passes. Remember that you can do this always, but being with your loved one is not an opportunity you have every day.
Communication is essential for a couple that is far from each other. This is because as the near conviviality is not possible, it’s a form of rapprochement between you. Talk as much as you can throughout the day without interfering with your daily activities, obviously.
This should be discussed between the couple and combined in the best way, so that it doesn’t interfere in the routine of any of you or that can cause any discomfort that damages the routine.
It’s true that all the little problems that haven’t been solved end up gaining a greater intensity in long distance relationship. This is because they lack the eye to eye, the touch, the embrace and the physical affection.
But it's the worst thing in the world. The fights happen for the same reasons that of a face-to-face dating. The difference is that the physical absence makes these discussions not end with a passionate kiss.
The above tips seemed like a few small sermons, so I'll list the advantages of a long distance relationship. Maybe one of you just need a little "push" to start one.
You don’t mind small habits
The habit of leaving wet towels on the floor can be a bit annoying, just like picking Uber instead of walking three blocks on foot. Everyone does things that leave their peers crazy. A nice thing in a long distance relationship is that you have the time to reflect and realize that these little things are not important. When you say goodbye after a visit, you realize that you would live in an apartment lined with wet towels, as long as you two could meet each other again in the next minute. It's love, with annoying habits and everything.
You have time to be selfish
Although it’s difficult, being away from each other can be an advantage as well. Perfect for reading piles of Nora Roberts books instead of drowning on the couch, working until two in the morning without feeling guilty, spending the morning reading news rather than talking, seeing friends all weekend and just using larger and more comfortable grandma's shorts. It’s doing what you want when you want and not taking into account anyone's feelings. It’s a drop of blessing in a sea of longing.
Everything is beautiful when you are together
Doing worldly things together becomes fun because: oh my God, you're together! You have hearts in your eyes even when you're yelling at him for leaving the toilet cover up. Sleeping together, waking up together, having lunch together... The little things make you really appreciate what you have.
Long distance relationships usually happen by some affinity, so something you like the other person will also like very much. Nothing better than having a boyfriend/girlfriend and a super friend in one package! This is facilitated by the use of social networking and relationship websites. You can really know the tastes of the other person and it helps even better to plan your time together.
The experience of being able to travel, meet new people, meet a person so special, brings us the benefit of new life experiences, to experience new things, to travel, to have a travel routine that never seems to end, to live the longing of meeting the another person is a totally inexplicable thing, so much that often one does not even thinks about all the path taken, only thinks about the final destination. In addition to knowing a new culture, a new region, with new customs.