How do I overcome my fear of meeting people online?
I want to take chances and meet new people, but how do I do this? How do I overcome my fear of meeting new people and start venturing into the online dating world?
It looks like you need to take a chance. You must seek out that spark of courage that exists within you. Creating a profile on a relationship website is the first step into a world of endless possibilities. To lose the fear of meeting people online, you need to first make the leap into this new world. Maybe you will not find the person you are looking for, but the possibility that you will is worth the risk.
One of the drawbacks of dating online is that we always want more. We want quick tools, quicker results and, at the same time, to have fun. All this mixed into a process in which we evaluate photographs, choose profiles and judge people with a simple slide of the finger to the left or right. So, it seems that appearance is everything. But when are things not as we imagine?
All that glitters is not gold
One drawback you can easily forget to consider, is that the huge number of members on these online dating websites may suggest that many of them don't wish to have a real or serious relationship.
Those who want to take advantage of these applications and websites need to know how to choose an image to put on their profile. Because of this, many people use fake or digitally modified photos to take advantage of others. Don't be fooled by this.
Similarly, pay attention to people who are "two faced". Many people who create profiles on these dating sites tell stories where they either hide, or fabricate, critical information about their lives, simply to fascinate others. Besides the beautiful photos, innocent people don't even know if the other person they are talking to is single or not.
With our intense daily lives, sometimes these sites are the only opportunity we have to find someone. In addition, the number of individuals who enroll on these sites and applications is quite large.
An advantage is the opportunity to connect with individuals who are potentially more shy. They would not take the initiative in a real meeting or in face-to-face situations. However, who would imagine that using the internet and online dating sites would be a way to communicate and connect enough so that the person learns how to handle a live encounter? It can help a person overcome their fear of the unknown, or trauma related to relationships. The possibilities are endless.
One of the most wonderful things about interactions through dating sites is the fact that you can research details about your potential match slowly. Each person can do everything at their own pace. Gradually, you become aware of detailed information about personal attributes, lifestyle choices, and the preferences and hobbies of the people you're attracted to. Some information can even be verified. Then, as you move on to the next step and set up a meeting, a wonderful experience will finally happen! It's almost as if you both really knew each other long ago!
But what if the person wants to meet me?
Countless happy couples have met through online dating sites, including people from different regions, countries, and even continents.
The online world, as well as relationship sites, is becoming the most effective relationship tool nowadays, providing communication between people all around the world. People who, under any other circumstances, could never communicate regularly. However, the digital environment is also full of innumerable risks, and not everyone starts this experience with good intentions.
Thus, the concern about moving from an online conversation to an actual meeting is extremely significant. Many people spend a lot of time only on online dating sites for fear of taking the first step and being disappointed. Some people cannot do meet face-to-face because they simply have no idea how to make it happen. Because this is a crucial stage in an online relationship, some special attention is essential. One error can perhaps ruin all previous conversations and interactions.
It's completely normal to be worried about meeting each other in person. Everyone who has tried dating has had this fear at some point. The main reason most people are nervous is the fact that they must take themselves out of their comfort zones. It really is a gamble. Is it worth moving onto the next step or giving up?
Online dating sites can help with this, because they allow the initial encounter between individuals without the need to deal with a stressful face-to-face meeting. However, these online dating experiences are still susceptible to difficulties and problems. Nevertheless, they have a reduced impact on our anxieties and fears. Two people can get to know each other much better in their own time.
My fear is to meet face to face
This fear is probably the most frequent in these situations. The fact that everyone is behind their monitors and cell phones make them much more confident. The security of our homes and our electronic gadgets leaves us relaxed, and this relaxation can give a sense of wasted time. Before you take the next step and make a face-to-face meeting, understand what you are really looking for on a relationship site and try to determine if it is worth knowing the person in the "real world".
I'm afraid of what I don't know
This concern can come along with our fear of engaging in the real world. Online dating sites allow you to find the right person for you, which really is something remarkable. In addition to allowing you to match your potential future partner, it can also help a lot to deal with the fear of the unknown. Every step we take toward the unknown requires another drop of courage. On the other hand, the security of what is familiar can also leave us trapped, and we need to be careful not to use this as an excuse to hide our fear. Doing this can prevent you from enjoying memorable moments, and from living life to the fullest.
But what if I am rejected?
If this concern starts to arise, remember that almost everyone searching for an online partner is in a similar situation. Most people are afraid of rejection. Confronting this fear is exactly what differentiates everyone. Please do not let this fear stop you in your quest for your soul mate.
I'm not that desperate
This is really the most talked about and discussed point among most people. Whatever the reason, trying to find a partner online seems to be simply regarded as the most mortifying and humiliating thing any person can do. Some people say that it shows desperation and lack of friendliness, because you can't find a person in the "normal" way.
However, it's all about simply knowing (and being honest about) what you're looking for. Every time you go to a nightclub with your friends, wearing your sexiest dress and make up a la femme fatale, you silently pray for this to be the moment when you will meet that special person.
This may sound like a slap in the face, but it might be much better if you simply don't find him. Mainly because the kind of guy you're likely to encounter in this kind of environment is not the kind that usually ends up being your other half.
Once you accept that there is absolutely nothing inappropriate in looking online for a partner, you will understand why dating sites are sometimes considered the most realistic and efficient methods of meeting a man. Instead of having to choose between eight to ten guys that you will find in the nightclub on any given night, you will have immediate access to numerous potential boyfriends with extensive and meticulous profiles explaining their story, passions, lifestyle, as well as, occasionally, even how much they earn.
Of course, in addition to the freaks, socially inadequate people, or just complete idiots you can find, you'll also find guys who are very shy or maybe do not know how to talk to women. Many of them may be extremely busy with their careers or personal activities. They might simply prefer to date online instead of going clubbing. Many of them also might not want the kind of girls who go to nightclubs. Some may be divorced or have children, so they end up not going to these environments.
Most people are familiar with one or more online dating stories that have ended well. So why not look for it yourself and be happy?
If you feel insecure, choose a nice public place to meet
No matter how long you have talked to someone online, don't forget that you are not familiar with this person. Let me put it another way: even though you've spoken to them, this person is a stranger! So, while it's a fantastic idea to meet someone you're interested in, you need to use security measures to meet that person in the real world.
For your first meeting, it is advisable to meet any person you meet online in public and open places, perhaps a cafe, a restaurant, a park or a mall. These types of encounters are fantastic simply because you can easily set out your expectations first and determine how long this encounter will last, whilst also being sure that you?re safe.
You are the one who determines the rhythm of this "dance"
Regardless of the speed of online dating, you will quickly discover that there are certain people who will want to force things to go a little faster. These people will quickly ask for your personal email, ask for your mobile number the first time they send you a message, and they may even surprise you at home. Summarizing in a straightforward way, these people really want to bypass all security measures that are previously set up on online dating sites.
If you run into such a person, take a deep breath. It does not necessarily mean that they want to do something bad to you. However, this indicates that there is certainly a problem with that person. Considering everything, most people have no problem sending messages while getting acquainted with each other. They don't need to change phone numbers and personal contact information now. So be aware of this kind of thing.
But what if I meet someone from another country?
The concept of dating a foreign person can sound very attractive. However, just as any relationship requires constant dedication from both sides, a relationship between different cultures needs to double that dedication.
What you experienced, observed, and discovered as you grew up created your individuality, your values, and helped make you who you are today. No matter how different the cultures of your own country may be, you understand its nuances very well. Within that, you anticipate behaviours, responses, values, and so on. However, when the culture is completely different, it is difficult to suddenly adapt.
Anticipating behaviour in a relationship with someone from another culture can be sad and problematic. In addition to understanding your loved one, you must understand their cultural heritage, as well as everything that they may be bringing with them. This will underpin exactly how that relationship will be. Being understanding and patient is an essential condition for you to understand one another.
Do you already know this person and their characteristics? Do you think it's worth giving up your culture and venturing into a foreign country? This is an extremely important question. Most people, excited by the situation, believe that they will be able to overcome or give up a structure already established in their countries of origin. However, when things get tough, maybe because of monotony or fights common to relationships, they wonder if it's worth it. So, from the outset, it's vital that you be honest with yourself, and think about whether you will continue to be happy in the long run with the concessions you are making.
We are more alike than we imagine
Most societies have elements in common. Facial expressions such as anger, joy and happiness, sadness, disgust, shock and anxiety are typically similar in most societies. Only a few of them vary a little in this.
For some people, a romance with someone from another culture can be extremely stressful. For those who live in conditions where they must always interact with other cultures, the difficulties of this type of relationship are almost non-existent.
To reduce the confusion in an internet relationship with someone from another country, talk about how your cultures may be different. For example, people in the US may shake hands with each other when they meet an acquaintance, family member, or business partner, while a person in Europe or Brazil might kiss both cheeks. The two gestures mean the same thing. Helping to make this clear in the early stages of the relationship, establishing exactly where there are cultural distinctions and similarities, helps to avoid fights and strangeness.
Do not cling to stereotypes. Be happy!
You should not be led by comparisons between cultures and comments on certain groups of people, and you should be careful not to reproduce or believe in stereotypes. Stereotypes should be avoided because they are often false, exaggerated and very insensitive to the culture or group of people which they are portraying.
Loving relationships are difficult, no matter where you are or who you are meeting. People who come from the same society do have a much better chance of understanding each other, but don't let this discourage you! Relationships are difficult. If you choose a person from another culture, but with the similar character, it can work.
Although tradition and culture contribute to one's personality, what matters most is their individuality. Many people are direct, others are more shy, and this is the same almost everywhere. Culture is important, but more important than that is who the person really is. Culture is something that influences you, but can be overvalued in its importance
When a person loves you, they will overcome any cultural obstacles. This also holds true for different beliefs and realities. Consider that you are meeting people with different stories and experiences. Use this to your advantage and open your heart to this new experience!
- Beware of fake profiles and people who have the intent of faking their identities. Like anywhere in the world, there are good people and bad people.
- Insecurity is normal. It's what everyone feels, so you're not alone. It's probable that the person you will meet is feeling insecure too.
- Don't hide behind your computer or cell phone. Take a chance on a face-to-face meeting with the person you are starting to get interested in.
- Don't use fear as an excuse not to face the unknown. You may be pleasantly surprised.
- Don't be afraid to be rejected. The other person has probably also experienced the pain of rejection, and is risking as much as you.
- Searching for people online isn't a sign of desperation! It is a sign that we are in the 21st century.
- Schedule your meeting in a public place. It is safer and puts less pressure on the first encounter.
- You're the one who decides the rule in this "game". Do things at your own pace and it will be alright.
- One of the most interesting features of online dating sites is the ability to meet people from other countries. Cultural barriers can be overcome with understanding.
- Forget the stereotypes and prejudices. Take this as an opportunity to open up your mind and become a better person.