No matter how much you expect, be anxious, worry whether your hair will be cool or not and sometimes simulate embarrassing conversations in the bathroom mirror. A date is just a date. The only important result is how much fun will be for you and the person you like. And being fun, then the night will make sense and be worth it.
As you know, I'm in Brazil. I came to the Carnival. But even having a lot of fun, I took some time to write here for you. I am doing this because I have been talking to a Brazilian for a while from the website and we have agreed to meet at this carnival. It will be the first time we meet and I wanted to talk about it. I always get a little nervous before my first date with someone I meet online, so I'd like to share my nervousness and give some tips to people who are just like me.
The internet is a wonderful tool that makes life easier for people in many ways. However, it is essential to be very careful, as the most unsuspecting can end up being victim of trickery and going through bad times.
Among the main virtual crimes, we can highlight the robbery of bank passwords and credit card information and hacking the person’s computer. But a common practice, especially among young people, and that has taken away the sleep of many parents, are the real encounters with people you know on the internet.
Specialized dating sites serve to approach strangers. But once the virtual stage is over, some careful measures must be taken when setting a real date. I know that when we are in love, we tend to think that this is the best person in the world, that she would never hurt us. We think that accidents happen only on TV. But precaution is never too much: if she/he is a good person, GREAT, but if not, at least you can figure it out in time. To learn how to do this safely, I've separated some tips.
Make sure the profile is really real
Photos and a network of friends help with this task. See if you have friends in common and take a look at his or her registration, where she came from and where she's going.
Ask several questions, such as name, profession, school where she studied and take notes of everything. After a while, ask again. If there is contradiction, be wary.
Another idea is to seek the name and social networks of the suitor. This way you can confirm if there are any problems related to it. The ideal is to ask for Facebook or Twitter and see if the information is the same. A person may say that she is single, but she is in a serious relationship on Facebook. Or the city of residence may be another, for example.
Common names, interests and friends are valuable data, which can be used to find the suitor in other virtual environments without her knowing it (doing searches on Google or Facebook, for example).
In addition to traditional search, Google also has search for related images. In the search for Google photos, the site displays where that image was originally posted - blogs or social networks, for example. With this, you can find out if the photo of your virtual love was "stolen" from another page.
Nowadays there are a lot of tricksters who say they don’t have Facebook. It's okay that many don’t have it, but we know that nowadays those who don’t have it are an extreme MINORITY, and that many omit this data because they are married or something like this. If she insists on saying she doesn’t have it, she will certainly have some easily accessible information on the internet, even if that is her curriculum lattes or vitae on the internet used for professional and academic purposes. So pay attention to this item.
How not to get into trouble
Once you know new profiles and discover that there is someone that fits your interests perfectly, you may be left with the question about being in love or not. Your heart tells you to bet everything on someone, but your head is still not 100% sure that's a good idea. And you need to really hear the voice of reason as there are many malicious users on the internet.
So there are a number of preventative measures that must be taken prior to any real encounter with someone you met on dating sites. Sometimes people are too perfect to be real and this can hide a number of problems - ranging from the little lies about appearance to the real identity or interests of those on the other side.
Of course you don’t want to get into the statistics that involve people who have been cheated on this type of sites. So it's good to be careful and follow some pretty cool tips on how not to get caught up in this. Some of the tips are:
- Write down some data and question them. Liars contradict themselves easily;
- If you think the contact is "too cute to be real," use Google Images to see if it's not a fake profile using model photos;
- Check other social networks to find out if there are no lies in the profiles;
- Don’t give details about your life! You don’t want a stranger going to your place of work or your house;
- Don’t talk about how much money you make;
- Before the physical meeting, conduct videoconference talks;
- Don’t believe the excuse "I don’t know how to use the webcam" because it can hide secrets like relationships or false profiles;
- When scheduling meetings, notify a friend;
- Schedule only encounters in busy and easily accessible places;
- Don’t hitchhike to return home;
- As incredible as she may seem to be, remember this person is a stranger;
- If the person misses the meeting, confirm the reason and don’t believe in crazy stories.
See the person through the webcam
This item is necessary not only for you to see if the person is minimally attractive, but also to see if the person even exists. I don’t think it's a good idea to rely only on photos, because they can put us in a hole and give us a big disappointment when it comes to meeting live. If she doesn’t have a webcam, ask to buy or go to a lan house or a friends’ house. If the person is really interested in it, she has to find a way, right? To give her more encouragement, say that you will use your webcam as long as she uses hers. This tends to be a great stimulus for most people, who will find a way to fix the equipment quickly.
Tell someone about this person
The ideal is to tell your parents, but there are people who don’t want to do it, so the second option becomes a TRUSTING friend, so you can give information about the person (phone, facebook, when and how you will meet her, etc. ), and to let him know what could be done if something happens.
Also try to take a friend or have someone you trust to keep an eye on you during your date. If you can’t get your friend to go with you, let him stay close by, so your date doesn’t even need to know your friend will be there! If you can’t do this, tell someone you trust (like a waiter in the restaurant or the security guard) that you'll soon be meeting someone from the internet, so he keeps an eye on you until you tell him that everything's okay.
Always meet in a public place
First, NEVER accept invitations for the person to pick you up at home or leave you at home later. I know it's convenient to have someone take you home in a comfortable car, but attention, you still don’t know this person to be alone in a car with her. If you’re too shy to refuse the ride to go to the date, say that you prefer to meet him directly at a mall (for example) because you have to do some things there before, or something like that.
Be careful. It’s very common when the person even accepts meeting in public place, but arriving there he asks the victim to go to another place, giving an excuse whatsoever. In fact, many embarrass the victim by claiming things like "Do I look like a pervert to you?!" or something like "Now you've met me, let's get out of here?!". So double caution at first and, since you’re not sure who the person is, tell her that you expect her to understand that you feel more comfortable there. If she forces herself, she will become even more suspicious. If you are the most passive type and don’t want to say these things, say that you have to stay there because your friend will meet you after. What matters here is always to keep your safety.
After the safety tips, I'll give some tips to the guys who are very insecure and think they can ruin everything on the first date:
Don’t get too carried away
She is funny. She is smart. She is beautiful. She is so perfectly perfect that when you try to describe her to a friend, you can’t find enough words.
When she agreed to go out with you, you had to pinch yourself, because you didn’t believe. You are totally and utterly excited for the night, and as you take your shower to leave, you are already thinking about the one-year anniversary of your future dating, as well as how much it will cost your honeymoon in the future.
Calm down. Certain levels of excitement and overrating with the girl tend to put you not only in a position that will sound very silly and helpless to her, but also prevent you from letting go and being yourself. That date will seem something so important and sensational to you, that will leave you stuck in the possibility of doing something wrong and lose the "chance of your life" with "the coolest girl in the world."
Is she sensational? Of course. But you're also very reasonable, so take a deep breath and don’t make a fool of yourself with this silly face.
Don’t treat the first date as if it were the last
Unfortunately many people want to treat the first date as if it were their last, and they want everything to happen right there, at that time.
Forgetting that on the first night is implied the concept that yes, there must be other dates, you can rush things and create situations that are literally killing the potential future of the relationship with this girl, just to try to put the maximum of things in the least amount of time. Of course, an intense first date is cool, but the slow and fun process of meeting someone and building something is one of the best things in a relationship. Losing this is always a mistake. Also, people too intense are too scary!
Relax, it's just a date
Relax. After all the things that you should not do, I think that's the only one I can suggest you to do, because it's possibly the most important of all. If you're calm, you will not overvalue the date, you will not talk about your ex, you will not make controversial speeches, let alone try to tell your whole life to the girl in one night.
As you can see, there are dating sites for the most diverse profiles of people. More than that, Facebook groups and free apps can also help make you safer. The important thing is to always be alert to avoid being tricked and also to count on luck. Is the love of your life waiting for you on any of these sites? Maybe. So relax, man. Enjoy the ride!