First and foremost, remember: The most important relationship you should ever have is with yourself. Nothing should come before that. In a world that is always trying to tell us otherwise, you must realize that when you are cultivating self-love, you are beginning to build a whole new world. It’s a revolution that begins within you.
How it was with me
Many women send me messages saying, "Gee, Leah, you have such good self-esteem, you’re so well settled, so comfortable with yourself! How do I do that?" The truth is that it hasn’t always been this way... Those who have been with me for some time know a little of my history and I believe I already told it in some post here on the blog.
I've always been communicative, but there was a time of my life that I didn’t feel comfortable to live fully and show the woman that I really was. I hid behind a cover of embarrassment, discomfort and low self-esteem... I felt displaced, ugly and, after going through an engagement in which my fiancé betrayed me, I thought that no other man would look at me and I didn’t feel free to be truly happy.
That's when something changed inside me. It started with me creating a profile on a dating site, creating this blog to open my heart and resolving to try again. It was a process, but it was incredibly transformative and I became a confident and somewhat strong woman, finally taking the happiness that was kept from me!
Even my sexuality and sensuality, which were parts of me that I totally ignored, began to change! I began to feel different, more attractive and willing to put all this sensuality out.
I can say with certainty that no woman is born powerful. She becomes a powerful woman throughout her life. And you must be thinking now: "They are probably exceptional women with unique talents”. Well, you're wrong. A powerful woman is your grandmother, your sister, your aunt, an actress, a singer, your mother, a saleswoman, your neighbor, your friend. That is, any woman. And in today's post I'm going to teach you what you need to do to become a powerful woman.
The power of a woman comes within herself. This inner strength that drives to accomplish new things and make transformations. Powerful women are able to perform actions that transform their lives, their families, their work and even their country.
The misunderstanding of life
They made us believe that each of us is the half of an orange, and that life only makes sense when we find the other half. They didn’t tell us that we were born whole, that no one in our lives deserves to carry on their shoulders the responsibility of completing what we lack: we grow through ourselves. If we're in good company, it's just faster.
Most movies and songs make us believe that we need to find someone, marry and live happily, loving and being loved. There is a lot of emphasis on our culture in romantic love. Many people think that finding the right partner will somehow make us "complete”, fill an inner void, and solve all our problems. However, in this equation, no one tells us that we must always cultivate self-love to be happy.
Self-love is not just about feeling good or having time for yourself. It is a state of self-esteem that grows from actions and sustain your physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love allows you to accept your weaknesses along with your strengths and have compassion for yourself as you strive to find meaning and personal fulfillment.
It is a state of self-appreciation that grows from the attitudes that support our own physical and psychological health and stimulate your spiritual growth. Self-respect makes you a better person and a better partner.
When you love yourself, you believe you are a worthy person. And when you feel dignified, you begin to believe that you are worthy of love and respect, not just of yourself, but of all others. And when you gain respect from the partner and others around you, they begin to like you more and take you more seriously.
Take a moment of the week for yourself. You must meet your own emotional needs, so you can develop emotionally each day. When we deal with a lot of stress, we get stuck and we can’t move forward in any aspect of our lives. Women are the first to think about others and their children, husbands or boyfriends like priorities.
Remember: Before you make anyone happy, you first have to be happy. Love yourself!
What happens when you are cultivating self-love?
In a relationship, for example, when you don’t have self-love, you begin to lose your self-respect. And over time, your perfect relationship can turn into a one-sided love story. Here are 5 situations that may arise due to lack of self-esteem:
- You lose your voice in the relationship: Decisions begin to be made without your approval or prior notice;
- You become a puppet: You are kindly manipulated by your partner because you truly believe you have nothing of value to add to the relationship;
- You are not taken seriously by the people who are important to you: You may end up being just an object or an accessory, because your opinions offer no value or objections;
- Love turns into gratitude: Instead of experiencing a balanced relationship with equal love, you really begin to believe that your partner is worthy of a much better person than you;
- Love begins to fall apart: Your partner will begin to believe that he deserves someone better, because you are not good enough for him. And you, on the other hand, will feel suffocated and confused. And even if you express an opinion, it may just annoy your partner because, he doesn’t think you deserve to be heard.
When you believe in your abilities, you project an immeasurable strength. So pursue your dreams. When you don’t have confidence in yourself and believe that you are incapable of doing something, you don’t evolve. Believe in yourself no matter what. This attitude will help you achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams. Trust yourself and your intuition and don’t rely on others to guide your path.
Find your passion
We are all good at something. Some have a vocation for engineering, others to work in a beauty salon, others will be good lawyers. We all have a passion that we must identify to take advantage of Identify yours.
Knowing how good we are and working on it will be a great source of happiness.
When you discover your great passion, commit yourself and run after what you want. It's no use having goals, dreams and ideas if you do nothing to make them all possible. Write a plan and start today, not tomorrow. Follow this plan every day of your life.
Also, be patient. Don’t give up and don’t let yourself down. Limitations are the pitfalls life puts to prove if you really deserve to realize your great dream. Don’t be discouraged! You are strong and capable.
Shine with your own style. Powerful women dress as they want and like. Use fashion as a way of expressing your mood, preference, and creativity. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and safe.
Don’t depend on a man to be happy
Some women are delighted to be emotionally dependent on a man. This is a serious mistake. First, love yourself and then find this man who loves you and respects you. Be the mistress of your life. A powerful woman doesn’t need a man to be happy. He may even complete your happiness, but you can also be happy alone.
Beautiful things that happen when you are cultivating self-love
You discover your own value
When you fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else, you discover their worth. You learn who you are that you deserve. You learn that you are someone to be valued and you begin to appreciate yourself, instead of blaming every little flaw. Instead of focusing all your time and energy on another person and their happiness, you learn what you need and look for these things freely.
You become comfortable and confident
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. You put on clothes that make you feel good. You laugh. You fall in love with who you are. Since you chose to have self-love, you become more confident and comfortable being just you.
You are genuinely happy and create your own positivity
When you have self-love, you do things that add value to your life. You go after what makes you happy. You treat yourself with respect and care. Choosing to love yourself before entering into a relationship means that you have sought happiness within your own being. You know that only you are in control of your mood - so you choose to create your own happiness every day. You become a positive woman.
You leave aside negative baggage and past relationships
Choosing to love yourself first means letting go of everything that's pulling you down. It means forgiving yourself or others for the way they treat you. It means letting go of what didn’t work, or any discomfort still lingering in your chest. When you love yourself first, you stop holding painful parts of your past and make room for good relationships and positive emotions.
Don’t be afraid to run after what you want
Loving yourself first means that you run after the things you believe in. And, as you have become a priority, you are not afraid to ask for what you want and deserve. You know you have value and are comfortable making it apparent, especially in your romantic relationships.
You feel whole alone
You don’t need a relationship to feel fulfilled or complete. In fact, when you are cultivating self-love, you know you are already alone. You have focused your attention on your needs, wants, and interests. You value who you are and instead of desperately searching for love, you let it happen when the time is right.
You have a genuine desire for life
You learn to love the life you live. You love going out for a walk or watching the sunset. You love watching your favorite TV show or spending a night in town with your friends. You love yourself, so naturally you have a craving for life. Life, for you, is not all about finding love or being in a relationship. And because you have become a priority, you understand this and lead a richer and healthier life.
Help other women
If you feel you are good at something, or if you have advice that life has taught you to overcome obstacles and move on, pass on that knowledge. Society preaches a false idea that women are in constant competition with each other and that is wrong. Competition can be healthy, however, powerful women struggle to help others, not beat them.